Monday, October 24, 2011

My Name is Kim, not Mzungu

I've never been more aware of being white than I have here in my first month. Every time I take a walk I hear at least once "Mzungu!" Of course I realize that here I am not the norm and a very small minority, but at the same time I don't walk around yelling "black people" at home. Even if my presence is not forth right announced, I'm still being stared at. Whether I'm shopping, riding the dala-dalas, walking around campus or on the beach I stand out and the attention follows. This attention can be a range of things from both the positive and negative realms. On the negative side there's the yelling of mzungu while I'm walking by, being stared and occasionally being ripped off or overcharged. It does however work out positively as well by allowing me to meet more people. I cannot help but feel disrespected by the negative attention. Firstly, I know that I'm white, you do not need to inform me of this. Secondly, I have a name that you could ask if you so feel the need to yell at me. Thirdly, both you and I can obviously tell that I'm not from here so there is no need to stare just approach me and ask.
I believe I have now developed the minority complex and the thought that only other minorities can understand what it's truly like. I also believe this has opened my eyes to what it's like to be a minority in the states. To have a certain perspective of your "grouping" by the majority, how you are treated differently by the majority and what the majority expects from you is actually quite annoying. Almost all of the international students happen to be white, but not all of us are Americans (in fact there are only about 5), which isn't really taken into account when looking at us. Even if I have these new thoughts that only other white people understand me here, I have refused to travel in large groups in order to avoid even more attention. However, I have met two girls that I have become really close to with whom I can exchange all the new experiences both good and bad about living in Dar es Salaam. So here's my shout out to Brigitte and Conny thanks for becoming my good friends and sharing this experience!
I've found it helpful to be with a few Tanzanians for security rather than alone or with a group of other white people. I am using security in the sense of to make one more comfortable and being with and making friends with Tanzanians seem to deter the stares I get and of course the yelling of mzungu. I am thankful for being the minority in this sense because the Tanzanians that have approached have done so in order to help me out and make me feel comfortable. They realized that I'm not from here, saw that I needed help getting somewhere or the course outline and then managed to help me out as well as take the time to talk and get to know one another.
I do believe that no matter how well I get to know my surrounding or if my Kiswahili gets to a conversational level, I will still always look and be different. So my hope is to make as many good friends as I can and start to not notice some of the other things or learn to laugh it off more easily.

Hakuna Matata,
Kimberly

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